(A love letter to the delusion I had during wedding planning)
I knew wedding planning would change me. Truth is. I was ready for the spreadsheets, the group chats, the tears I would cry down the Hobby Lobby faux floral aisle. What I wasn’t prepared for was discovering that a couple of my bridesmaids were apparently… seasonal employees in my life.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for them. They held my veil, they picked up my train so I wouldn’t fall, they even pretended to love the playlist I made called “Bridal Gang Gang.”
But then the wedding ended so did their contracts, apparently.
The Post-Wedding Fade-Out
I get it. People exit your life differently all the time. Some people leave your life gently. Some leave like they saw the exit sign and remembered they parked in a tow zone.
I just didn’t know it would be different for my bridesmaids.
One one hand, you had the one bridesmaid who was all “babe, I’m always here for you” on the bachelorette trip. Then you have the one who made a big Instagram speech about being locked in for life but hasn’t responded to my text from eight weeks ago. At this point, do I need to file a missing persons report?
And trust me. Even in the midst of all this happening, I never wanted to be that bride. You know the one who micro-analyzes unresponsiveness and think that in some way it ties into my bridesmaid’s insecurity, jealousy, and weird little competition you didn’t even know was simmering.
And Honestly… Maybe That’s Okay
At first I was offended. Like girl, you wore a sash with my name on it. You cried during your speech. You ate brunch with me the day before. And now you can’t even watch my IG story now? Interesting.
But if I’m looking in the mirror and being honest?
Some friendships are designed for certain seasons.
Some were meant to cheer you down the aisle, not follow you past it.
And instead of being sad about who faded, I’ve started appreciating the ones who stayed. The bridesmaids who still check in. The ones who didn’t just show up for the photo ops but they show up for my life regardless what season we were in.
Here’s the Plot Twist
The older I get, the more I realize friendships don’t end dramatically most of the time. They just… shift. People grow in different directions. And it doesn’t always need a villain or a speech or a dramatic unfollow.
Sometimes the girls who stood next to you at the altar aren’t the same ones who stand with you through the rest of your life. And guess what? It doesn’t mean their support for you at your wedding was fake. It just means the moment was theirs, not the whole story.
If You’re Going Through This Too
Let me be the one to say it:
You’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. You’re not a bad friend.
This happens to more brides than Pinterest would ever allow you to know.
Your wedding didn’t break the friendship.
It just showed you who was really built to last.
And honestly?
I’d rather have three real ones than nine bridesmaids who loved the bridal era but couldn’t show up for the regular-life era.
Because marriage has taught me one thing: the wedding is cute and all, but the after is where you see who actually belongs in your front row.
